Slayers Talk Show
by The Feline Mazoku
Summary: This fic is about a Talk Show (hosted by me) with The Slayers (from Try)! Hope you enjoy it, and rr it hopefully - Rated PG13
1. The Introduction

**Authors Note: **Ah, noticing I'm not much of a story person, I decided to write a second fic (Don't worry, I'm not ending **Cheesy Nonsense) **about a Talk Show, with me as the host! Hope you all enjoy it

**Disclaimer:** No I donnot own any of The Slayers

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The Feline Mazoku: Hello, and welcome to the **Slayers Talk Show**! I am your host, The Feline Mazoku (Just go for TFM for short )!!!

Lina: Get on with it, I'm hungry!

TFM: Uhhh... Right then. Anyways, for my first guest this evening, I will choose...... -draws name out of a hat- Aha, lets see... The 'Magic Hat' says I should choose, Filia!!! -over cheerfull- Filia, please come up to the stage and sit down.

Filia: Uhm.. Yes?

TFM: Filia, is it true that YOU are a rare GOLDEN Dragon?

Filia: Oh yes, I am a pure, wonderful, kind, generous, beautiful Golden Dragon, unlike those filthy Mazoku!

Xellos and Valgaav: -growl-

TFM: And is it also true that you and Xellos spent the night together in the Kawaii Motel?

Filia: -blushing- Of COURSE not! Who gave you THAT idea? I would never be alone with such a namagomi!

Xellos: -from back stage- Its true, Filia is quite sexy acctually...

Filia: WHAT?! HOW DARE YOUUU!!! -runs off stage clutching mase-sama-

TFM: -hearing smashing noises- O.O

Lina: Call someone else up!

TFM: Okay, I call up.. hmm... Oooh, how about Valgaav and Lina!

Lina and Valgaav: -walk onto stage, and sit as far away from eachother as they can-

TFM: Valgaav, is it true that you think Lina is small chested?

Valgaav: -snort- It doesn't matter what anyone THINKS, its what they SEE.

TFM: And....

Valgaav: So it's obvious that she is lacking a figure.

Lina: WHAAAAAAAT DID YOU SAY?!

TFM and Valgaav: O.O'

Lina: FIRE BALL! FIRE BALL! FIIREEE BAAALLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Valgaav: -falls off chair, and burnt to a chrisp-

TFM: Nooooo!!!! Valgaav!!! Miss Lina, that's not the way you behave on talk shows!!!

Lina: -fangs- I can dragon slave this whole Talk Show if you keep blabbing on like that...!

TFM: Ehehehehe -rubs back of head- Lets bring out our next guest... Zelgadis Greywerd!

Zelgadis: -shuffles onto stage as Lina pulls Valgaav off, not paying any attention to his head bonking on each step-

TFM: Zelgadis, first of all, how are you doing today?

Zelgadis: Fine untill I had to come onto this stupid Talk Show...

TFM: -whisper- Shush!!! If people find out I'm not doing a good job on this show, I'll get fired!

Zelgadis: Ohh... Really? -grin-

TFM: Just answer the question!!!

Zelgadis -rolling eyes- I am fine.

TFM: Lovely! How is Amelia?

Zelgadis: -blushing- I don't know, why dont you ask her?

TFM: Hmm... AMELIA!! Get on stage please!

Amelia: -flys onto stage- Hello Miss TFM!

TFM: Hewwo! Anyways, how are you Amelia?

Amela: Fine, thanks Miss TFM!

TFM: Aww Your so polite!

Zelgadis: O.O --' Can we please get on with this damn talk show?

TFM: All right, all right. Zelgadis, tell us how you... _feal_ about Amelia.

Zelgadis: -blushing furiously- Uhmm.. I.. uhh...

Amelia: Oh he loves me! Don't you Zelgadis? -hugs him-

Lina, Xellos, Filia, Valgaav, and Goury, all watching backstage: ...

Zelgadis: Gee, I'm sorry, I would stay, but I must go now, I have bussiness to attend to. -walks off stage, still blushing-

TFM: Poo! Ah well, That about raps it up for todays show! Untill next time, all you auhtors out there, keep torturing your characters! -snuggles Valgaav-

Valgaav: -pissed-

TFM: -smiles happily-

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Lol, I hope everyone liked it! Don't worry, its gonna get way more interesting in the next chapter, I'm already planning it! But I could really use your helpfull tips and guides, so please review/rate this fic, and I will hear you out! Thanks 


	2. Lina Takes Over

**Authors Note:** Hope everyone enjoyed the last Chapter! I'm not thinking of quitting anytime soon, so keep reviewing to give me more ideas! :)

Also, ff.net has stopped the use of any of the symbols that you use when you press 'Shift' and a number together. Atleast most of them I believe.

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunatly I donnot own any of the Slayers.

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The Feline Mazoku: Hey everyone! Thanks for comming back, my name is The Feline Mazoku, and I am _usually_ the host of this Talk Show. Buuuttttt.... It seems as though someone told the producers of this show, that it was boring and should be taken off the air. So I have to go meet the directors and crap, but luckilyyyy..... Someone gets to take my place as the Host untill I come back!!! Oh, and Mister Zelgadis called about 18 minutes ago, saying he got sick. Oh well... 

Lina, Goury, Xellos, Filia, Amelia, and Valgaav: O.o

TFM: Who wants to be the host?

Lina: Me!! I do!!

TFM: -sweat drop- Uhhh... Anyone ELSE want to be the host?

Goury: I Will!

TFM: Right then! Okay, our new host is, Gou--

Lina: -fangs- If you dont let me be the host, I'll Dragon Slave you!!!

TFM: Uhh.. err.. ehehehe rubs back of head As I was saying, the new host to take my place while I am gone, is... Lina Inverse!!!

Lina: Haha! Bye TFM... -grins evily at the people waiting-

TFM: Okay, byebye, wish me luck with the producers!

Amelia: Uhh... Miss Lina, are you sure you know what you are doing?

Lina: Of course I am!!! I call all of you up to the stage. That's right, move it!

Valgaav, Goury, Amelia, Xellos, Zelgadis, and Filia: -grumble and take seats on the stage-

Lina: Allright then! Since I am now the host sorceress supreme, I command that we all... Play 'Truth or Dare'!!!

Goury: Uhh... Lina, isn't the host supposed to ask questions?

Lina: Shut up, and mind your own bussiness Goury!

Zelgadis: He **does **have a point, Lina.

Lina: Grrrr...! THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I SAY WE PLAY 'Truth or Dare' AND YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT!!!!

Filia, Goury, Amelia, Zelgadis, Xellos, and Valgaav: -nods quickly-

Lina: Since I am the host, I will go first! I pick.... Zel!! Truth or Dare?

Zelgadis: I don't know, and why did you pick me?

Lina: Just DECIDE!!!

Zelgadis: Truth.

Lina: Okay then! Here is your question: Would you get dragged into a lava pit, get blasted with a dragon slave, and have one of your arms chewed off, to save Amelia?

Zelgadis: What would that stuff have to do with saving someone?

Lina: Just answer the question!

Zelgadis: -shruggs- Depends how tough the 'bad guys' who would do that were.

Amelia: -offended- Mister Zelgadis!!

Lina: Haha! Anyway, Zel, choose someone.

Zelgadis: I choose... Xellos. Truth or dare.

Xellos: Hmm.. Truth.

Zelgadis: Oh whats the matter? To affraid of a dare? -smirk-

Xellos: In your dreams, baka! I choose dare!

Zelgadis: Saw that one comming... Anyway, I dare you to... Sleep with Goury for one night. If you know what I mean.

Xellos: Uhh.. Ehehehe -rubs back of head- you're pretty good at thinking of dares.

Lina: WHAT?! You can't dare him THAT! NO ONE sleeps with Goury unless I give permision!!!

Zelgadis: -starting to enjoy himself- A dare is a dare, Lina.

Lina: Errrghghgh... -looks at watch- Whoops, we are all outta time! Hope to see everyone next time on, the Slayers Talk Show!!! Remember, I am your lovely, powerful, beautiful sorceress genious host, Lina Inverse!!

Valgaav, Filia, Xellos, Amelia, Goury, and Zelgadis: -sweatdrop-

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Well, that's all for today! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and please r/r it!! I would really appritiate your comments/suggestions! :)


	3. Craziness At The Maximum

**Authors Note: **Eeek! Sorry I haven't written for so long! Please don't kill me!!! gets murdered by newspapers being thrown at head  
Okay, so my life got kinda busy... Sort of.... Anyways, I will be writing more often! :) Hope you all like this new chapter!

**Disclaimer:** Guess what? I don't own Slayers. Or any part of it. Shocker, huh?

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The Feline Mazoku: Wow, hello everyone! Long time no see! As you can see, I still have my hosting job! Apparently the lawyers found that I am a most wonderful, careful, and educational host!!! 

Lina: -whispers to audience- Actually I forced Zel to tell the people that the show was good. I couldn't stand being the host. It's so boring!

TFM: Huh? What was that Lina?

Lina: Nothing n.n

TFM: Okie dokie then! Lets get this show started! -pulls out magic had- Aha, the faithful magic hat says I should call........ Goury up to the stage! Come on up mister Goury!

Goury: 'ello TFM!

TFM: Howdy! Anyways, Mister Goury; it has been a common question running through most people's heads, and I am going to be the one to ask it to you!

Goury: Uhm, okay then.

TFM: Okay here goes: Why do you always take Lina's insults so well??? IS IT BECAUSE YOU LIKE HER?! WELL?????!!!! ISSS IIITTTT??? ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

Goury, Lina, Xellos, Filia, Zelgadis, Amelia, and Valgaav: O.O;''

TFM: -cough choke sputter- ahh... eheheheheheee, sorry about that giggle Oh Goury dear, please be a good honey sugar lumpkins, and answer my honest question -wide, stupid grin-.

Xellos: Are you high, TFM-chan?

TFM: -too busy drinking coffee and playing with her hair to notice- heehee heee! This coffee tastes great!!! Although it has a different flavor to it... Wow, they are making all kinds of new flavored Coffee! And soon birds will fly!!!

Amelia: Uhm.. Miss TFM, birds DO fly....

TFM: LIES!!! All lies.... lies...! lies....

Valgaav: Okay, so far she's only asked one stupid question, which hasn't even been answered yet. Why on earth do I even come to this dumb show?

TFM: Because you wuuuv me my Vally poopy poo poo kins! -snuggles/strangles-

Filia: Oh my....

Lina: I got it! Why don't one of us host the shows again? Apparently TFM seems a little.... hides something quickly behind her back too happy drinking her coffee and suffocating Valgaav. But since I was the Host last time, why doesn't someone else be it now? After all, that would be fair, right? -grin-

Zelgadis: Lina, you seem a little... _Too_ nice.

Lina: ahahahahaahaaa!!! pounds fist on table oh Zel, don't be such a joker! I'm always there to be kind to my lovely friends! Ahahahahahaa!! 'Too nice.'! Haha!!

Amelia: It seems as though Miss Lina and Miss TFM both aren't making any sense tonight. In fact, this whole show doesn't seem right... -stares at the ground-

Filia: Oh I know! I will be the host, so we can all pull this off! n.n

Xellos: Oh but Fi-chan, are you sure you can think of enough sick jokes to ask us all? -tempting evil stare-

Filia: Whaat?! 'sick jokes'?? Xellos, why must you always dwell on those disgusting topics! You are such a filthy beast. -crosses arms and turns away-

Xellos: Oh, look who's talking now! Filia, the priestess of the Fire Dragon King is talking about sick jokes! hahaha!

Zelgadis: They just seem to get dumber and dumber -Filia and Xellos fighting in background- -.-;'

Amelia: All right then! I will be the host of this talk show! -takes a dramatic pose on a chair- Let you all witness, the power love talk shows have on international Television!

Lina: Love talk shows???

Goury: I'm bored Lina! When do we get to eat?

Lina: SHut up Gou--- Hey! Yeah!!! When DO we get to eat?! I'm starving over here!!!

Valgaav: -clenching teeth- Well I'm getting driven crazy

Zelgadis: So am I. Amelia just start.

Amelia: Okay! And I, Amelia, choooooseee.... -still in a dramatic pose- Miss Lina! -points at Lina dramatically.. naww ya think? Dramatic? hardy har har- I have a question for you!

Lina: Okay then. What is it?

Amelia: Miss Lina, why when you were in highschool did you always---

TFM: -stumbling quickly up onto stage with swirly eyes- OH MY GOD!!!! THIS SHOW WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE ENDED AGES AGO!!! Hey, where was **I**?! What happened? I don't remember ANYTHING!! Oh my god, a monkey is chewing on my braaiiinnn!!!!

Filia: -pausing from a wild swing at Xellos' head with her mace- Whaa..?? Mist TFM, that is gross!

Lina: -head in her arms- Okay that's it, I've had ENOUGH of this! Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that ----

Goury: Lina! Nooooo!!!! -runs to lina to stop her from killing everyone-

Lina: Oww, no Goury! Let me GO! Arghghghhhh everyone is killing me!!! -rips out hair-

Zelgadis: Well I guess it's up to me then. Thank you all for coming, and I hope you all got tortured as much as we did -.-

Amelia: Hey, that isn't nice Mister Zelgadis! Bye everyone! n.n

TFM: -still has swirly eyes- buh-bye .

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Okay, that was honestly.... The weirdest ff I've ever wrote... Maybe I was feeling a lil high myself in the process, lol.  
Ah well, I still hope to see some reviews on the story! I always appreciate them, so please try to take the time to send one to me :) Any comments, suggestions, or even a flare if you really feel you must need to n.n

Thanks for tolerating me once again! =)And stay tuned!


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